A masturbating bog body, a brain the size of a small car, AI hunting for a pedophile politician, and a never-ending supply of salami – no absurdity can stop the G7 summit in the German village of Dankerode.

In RUMOURS, director Guy Maddin, along with his colleagues Evan and Galen Johnson, sends the seven heads of state of the “most important” democratic industrial nations to their annual summit. The goal is to overcome an incredibly important but undefined crisis. Above all, the personified nations – a condition that only France seems to be aware of – have to write a text that documents the fertile collaboration and political will of the nations to the outside world. But while politicians are sitting in their pavillion and defining the word procrastination in small groups, the local bog bodies turn into zombies and make the employees around them disappear.

RUMOURS shows seven politicians as they literally and metaphorically run in circles. And this is neither thrilling nor especially funny. Always eager Germany (Cate Blanchett) has a crush on emotional Canada (Roy Dupuis), the US (Charles Dance) has others work for him, and France (Denis Ménochet) only seems to be concerned with appearing cultivated. Instead of creating a document together, they get lost in the forest and don’t achieve anything, of course. While Maddin perfectly captures the colorful B-movie visuals, the dry screenplay is uninspired and lacking in bite. RUMOURS seems like an overlong comedy sketch that’s hiding its flat observations behind meta levels and surrealism and runs out of air after just a few minutes.

Lukas Hoffmann

Translation: Elinor Lewy